his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Do vagina's smell?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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