i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
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