Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
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