he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
