I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
