I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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