You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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