she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
the liver wants what the liver wants
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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