proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
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