Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
