The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
