my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
