"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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