well I can't set my house on fire every night
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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