i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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