No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Randomize
