ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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