help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
