Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
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i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
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Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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