She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
