He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
