Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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