I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
