He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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