She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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