You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
