Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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