I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You need Xanax blowdarts
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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