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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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