I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
