i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
