I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
