Kareoke will never be a sober sport
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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