just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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