No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
