Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
