Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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