You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
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Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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