i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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