...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
