VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
