If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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