shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
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