Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
