The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
