go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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