you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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