your thong is hanging out like whoa
i permit you to call me
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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