I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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