captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
