I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
