He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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