I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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