my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
