I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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