their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
