Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize