And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
What a dumb baby whore.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
