im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
