Tell her she can't have a vagina
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize