I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
