i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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