we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
