could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
