yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
