I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You are the jesus of drinking
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
