i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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