You made me cry and you don't even care
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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