you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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