She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i dont even know how to be here
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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