thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
