Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
