I want to walk on stilts...naked
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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